The silence is aching. Cold and deserted, It flickers But not with life It is pure emptiness Devoid of meaning Devoid of substance Cashmere folds slide over each other No noise Just smoothness No edges Just planes. It envelops and caresses Softly strokes It is oppressive, yet breath still comes Like drowning in air The … Continue reading #27 – Silence.
I feel as though I'm floating. F l o a t i n g nothing tethers me. Word are meaningless I dreamily push them away as they kiss my face Conversations that should go in Just drift past. S h h h h h It's all so quiet Yet so loud But I'm just floating … Continue reading #26 – Floating.
Fair warning: this is a ramble. It is not even the shadow of a poem. It's literally a stream of thoughts on a page, purely for cathartic purposes. I do not expect anyone to read it, nor do I expect anyone to care. I myself have not read back through it, or changed it in … Continue reading #25 – Shutdown.
So. I doubt anyone will ever read this. But if you do and you know me, please do not tell anyone. I can't force you not to, of course; but I hope and pray that you are a good enough human being to honour my plea. Not even my mum knows about this. And I'd … Continue reading #24 – Diagnosis.
"Please just go away. Just for a bit - please." I feel awful even thinking it - what kind of a friend pushes another away when they need you most? Certainly not me that's why I remain pretending it's alright pretending I don't mind acting like a counsellor acting like a carer giving sage advice … Continue reading #23 – I need a break.
Everything in life is made up of inputs and outputs. There is a certain balance, a perfect equilibrium, that weaves its way throughout each corner of the world, dainty yet heavy, fragile yet strong; upset the stasis, and things go wrong. Calories in and out, water consumed and passed, temperature rise and fall, cell death … Continue reading #22 – Equity.
It's funny how you don't notice how dependent you are on something until it's taken away. For the last month or so of my life, I have weighed myself every day. Mostly, two or three times a day, sometimes more, sometimes less, it depends. I like to keep track of it. It keeps away the … Continue reading #21 – Dependencies & Terror.
Hey guys, Again, I say "guys", but no one will read it. Lol. In some ways, I hope that no one ever reads this. It's something that I've been trying to ignore and deny for a long time, but today I've finally forced myself to acknowledge that this is an issue that I need to … Continue reading #20 – Confusions of a troubled mind.
Hey guys, Today's ramble is about my body. At the moment I'm having a hard time accepting it, and wanted to push all those thoughts onto paper. It's an extremely imperfect and personal poem - but I guess that matches my body. (Sorry for the weird underscores - I use indentation a lot in my … Continue reading #19 – My Body & Me.
Hey guys, I thought I'd start posting some of my poetry/prose ramblings. These last few weeks have been really really tough for me in terms of my mental and physical health, and today I sat down and just wrote for the first time in months. It reminded me why I used to love writing so … Continue reading #18 – Life.